Chapter Ten: Fair Warning
Copyright © by J. Faith Kenney
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission.
The shaking from Cole wakes me up in the late afternoon. Before my eyes can open all the way, he shoves a banana in my face and tells me to eat it while looking at the monitor to make sure I am still connected. Cole helps—more like pushes—me to sit up.
“Hurry and eat,” Cole says with an edge to his voice. “You are going to go back under soon, and I want to show you something beforehand.”
“Okay, what is so important?” I ask groggily, sleep still on my mind.
He forces me up and shoves me to the door. More of a supportive shove that someone will do to an elder or someone who just came out of surgery. I want so badly to push him away so he is not touching me anymore.
“I just want to show you something, and I work for Lily, so you have to obey me. But do not tell her, because you are supposed to be sleeping right now.”
I would love to be sleeping right now. The aches of yesterday’s little mishap rise in my muscles, filling them with stiffness. Last night, I had finally slept well, for my standards, for the first time since I arrived here about a week ago.
“You know she is my owner, right? If she asks, I have to tell her because-”
“I know she is your owner,” snaps Cole with irritation, finally letting go of me. “But let’s just keep this between me and you. Now hurry up and eat.”
I nod, rolling my eyes in my mind as I fall about a foot behind him. I open the banana and eat it, keeping my distance. We go to the upper level, and he leads me down a new hall to a new room. Cole looks back at me and smiles happily, which scares me even more than the evil smile. He turns back to the door and opens it, and I hope someone, anyone will come rescue me.
Cole waves his hand, indicating for me to go first. With my steps smaller than normal, I walk into a room full of books. Sun. Actual sunlight shines in, and the room doesn’t need any other lights thanks to the windows lining the wall. Rows and rows of books are on both sides. In the center is an open area with leather couches lining it. Against the wall of the windows is an old record player that still looks like it is in good shape. Records line one cubby on the nearest shelf, with some other records by the record player itself. The room is breathtaking, and makes me forget I even have an owner, just for a second.
Cole goes to the record player, the sunlight playing over his features. He almost looks nice, if I squint it looks like he has some sort of life in his eyes, but I know the truth. He starts to play some slow music that is clearly from older times. Cole takes a few steps toward me and reaches out his hand to me. I take a tiny step back, but he takes another step forward.
“What are you doing?” I ask, my voice a little high.
He doesn’t notice or care to notice how much I am hating this and how uncomfortable I am. He still holds out his hand with a mischievous grin, turning my skin inside out.
“I am asking you to dance with me,” he states simply, like we have known each other for years.
Shaking my head, I take another step back, and again he takes another step forward. “No, I am good. You can take me back because this isn’t going to happen.” My voice cold and firm.
“Fine, I will take you back, and I will tell Lily you’re not really under her control. I will also tell her she can kill the boy.” His callous voice casual, like we are talking about the weather.
“What are you talking about? Lily is my owner, I am under her control, whatever that means,” I snap, my voice rising, but I try to bring it back down.
Cole takes another step forward with that sickening smile playing over his face. “No you are not.” He closes the gap between us, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me closer to him. I want to scream, to push myself away, but he has me pinned to the wall. “You have lasted longer than anyone else,” he says, his head moving toward mine. “You remember Zac,” he whispers.
My body twitches, hating every second of this. Hating how loosely he used Zac’s name, like it has no meaning.
His slimy, thick breaths are on my neck, his head getting closer to mine. I try to pull away, but the wall keeps stopping me. Before he can get any closer, I bring my elbow up and slam it into his throat right above his collarbone. His grip on me loosens enough for me to break free as he stumbles backward.
“Maybe I am just stronger than the rest,” I spit out, and Cole clutches his throat, looking up to me with his fiery, soulless rage. He tries to get a grip on me again, but I run out of the room back to the lab as fast as I can.
My breaths comes in heaps and my mind races with panic. What will Lily do to me once she finds out I elbowed one of her people? Will she kill me, kill Zac?
Sitting on the metal table, I let the coldness cool my nerves. Lying down and looking up to the bright lights on the ceiling. Just calm down and wait. Soon I will have an assessment from her or maybe a punishment.
. . .
A few hours later… A different person is at the monitor making sure I am all intact. He hands me a banana to eat, then the medicine cup filled with the bubbly liquid. He doesn’t say anything or even bother to look at me, his attention only on the screen.
I’m a real person too, you know. Or am I only the problem that you want to figure out?
Lily walks in with a smile as I start to take the first bite of the banana. Cole comes in a few seconds behind her, with pulsing anger from what happened earlier still playing over his features. He glares at me, trying to burn me with his eyes as he takes a spot at the door while Lily comes forward. I can’t tell if Cole told her or if she is just happy.
“How are you feeling today, Thela?” Lily asks sweetly, reminding me of our mother’s voice.
“Good, way better than yesterday,” I answer, not knowing if this is a trap or not.
“That is good. I wanted to give you some time to rest before we start today. Are you okay today to do another assessment?” she asks with real concern, which she tries to cover up quickly.
I nod, wary of her. She turns to the guards by the door with a nod of her head. “Today, Thela, we have another Neuroner here to watch, who I own, of course.” Her voice filled with pride. “We also have a guard who is going to be new to you, but he is going to watch as well. Fair warning, it may get a little loud in here.”
Lily turns to the door, staying close to the table. A guard comes in, one I am used to, sliding his keypad badge back into his pocket. A few seconds later with everyone waiting, Tess comes in with one guard tugging at her while she walks in on her feet.
Tess looks pale with a layer of sweat coating her skin, her dirty blonde hair sticking to her cheek. Her eyes are still sunken, with her breathing heavy from her normal rate. Her eyes scream fear and terror for what’s to come. She locks eyes with me and lets out a smile, but the fear takes over.
Next to come in the room is Zac, with his hands cuffed behind his back and one guard on both sides of him, holding on to him with a firm grip. One of his guards has a black, swollen eye, telling me that’s probably why Zac has cuffs on and two guards, and Tess doesn’t. My upper lip twitches, trying to form a smile that I don’t allow. We make brief eye contact before he turns his head to the ground, and I turn to look in a different direction. Too painful to look at each other.
The seconds drag on, and I dare to turn my body to Tess and give her a small smile like a stranger would do. Turning the other way is more difficult to act on because it is toward Zac. My eyes meet his, which are already on me, and we only stare at each other. He doesn’t try to fight to get closer; we only stare.
Thela, I know you are in there, he mouths, and no one seems to notice.
My eyes drop from his to the floor, hiding the tears that are threatening to pour out. I look back up to him with a small but a weak smile. I am here. Please see me as the Thela you know. The Thela you’ve risked your life for ever since we were children.
“NOOOOO!” screams Tess and the guard holds her back as she kicks, trying to get free, with horror running through her face. “No, this isn’t possible,” she weeps.
Zac and I both turn our attention to the door to see what caused her to scream. I was right, I don’t want to be right.
“Lucas,” says Lily in her polite tone that holds all of the power as she takes a few steps closer to him.
Lucas has no guards with him. He walks in here on his own free will, because the fact is, he is free, he wears a guard uniform. Lily turns to face me to see what my reaction is, but I don’t need to react. Tess did that for me.
“You lying jerk who likes to tear at people’s hearts. You were working for her all along, and my mother-” Tess’s voice gets caught in her throat at the thought of her mother.
Lucas’s face tightens with regret and pain to see Tess like this, but what did he expect? That Tess wasn’t going to be in pain when she found out the truth? You are a coward, Lucas. To drug Tess so she doesn’t remember all that happened.
“He is the one who turned in your mother,” starts Lily, her voice growing cold and evil. “She is dead,” looking Tess right in the eyes. “She was a monster like you.” Lily’s voice is the same as it was as a child, but I try not to think about it and push it into the past.
Lily wants to get under Tess’s skin, waiting for her to break down. “A Neuroner. You and Thela are the only monsters in this room and in this world.”
Tess’s eyes become glossy as the tears spill. She tries to speak, but she can’t form the words or find her voice.
“That’s not true, look in the mirror!” yells Zac, filling in the silence, and everybody’s eyes go to him.
“Quiet you, or I’ll kill you,” Lily says. “Now, me and Lucas made a little deal a while back, in fact a couple of years ago. He turned in Tess’s mother for the reward and told the people I work for that he knew more. That is when I came into play. We started studying Tess and everyone who was associated with her.”
Lily’s eyes lock on mine, and I just look at her with a confused mask as to why. I was her Caretender. Her eyes moves around the room again. “There were other factors, of course, but I knew my target, and Lucas was only a confirmation.”
Tess starts crying, holding nothing back. I meet Lucas’s eyes, and a little grin curls his lips. You caused this to happen to her. You have caused her more pain than what she’ll ever experience by being a Neuroner. Hatred boils at my skin, and I have to bite down on my inner cheek to stop myself from saying anything. The taste of blood and the sting of an open flesh fills my mouth.
“Now”—Lily claps her hands together, getting everyone’s attention back on her as she walks closer to me—“let’s get started on your assessment,” she whispers to me.
All I can do is nod. I take the bubbly liquid as the helmet is placed onto my head. I lie down and the man by the monitor places the IV in my arm. A few seconds later, the bright light follows.
🧠
My eyes open to a dark room with only a single light above me. My first breath is easy, normal even. The second breath burns my lungs as the air around me gets thinner and weaker like I am in a box with no other oxygen.
I stand and take a step forward, only to run into a clear, clean glass box only a few feet wide. DING! My fist hits it and bounces back, mocking me. Again and again I pound on the glass, and it only mocks me, breaking the skin of my knuckles.
With each pound, with each breath, my lungs burn and shrivel up. My heart beats at a steady, fast pound in my ears. After one more pound, I can’t do anything but breathe heavily, not able to catch a single breath of fresh air.
The Black Blur appears, its yellow eyes catching mine. I take a step back in the little glass box, letting my fingertips touch the glass for stability. The Black Blur only stares right into my eyes, and I stare back with my chest heaving.
It starts running toward me, breaking the glass in seconds, and it shatters all over me with no coverage. The Black Blur’s hands are on my neck, pushing me into the wall, only getting air in small amounts when its grip loosens. It slams me into the wall, and everything around becomes dark, with only the yellow killing eyes as light.
My feet begin to come off the ground as the grip on my neck tightens. It holds me higher and higher as the grip becomes tighter and tighter around my neck. I try to breathe but can’t. All I can do is wheeze for dear life. Something hot streams down my face and out of my mouth. I know it is blood, but the only pain I feel is the burning in my lungs.
My eyes are wide with fear that this is the end. Stop, please. Even the cry in my head is weak, and I barely hear it myself. The grip vanishes and air floods my lungs as I fall to the ground, gasping for air. Landing on the broken glass as it cuts my legs, making my white leggings spot with blood. I look up to the Black Blur, which is already staring at me.
“Why are you-” I choke out, but it cuts me off by slapping me across the face and slamming me into the wall. The lights go out all around.
My eyes open to a mirror showing my own reflection. I am wearing a beautiful white wedding dress with long lace sleeves and an open back, with a thin layer of lace as well. The neck of the dress starts right under my collarbone and falls off the shoulders. My hair is neatly pulled back into a crown braid with my baby hairs curled nicely to the side of my face. Jewels run in and out of my hair, catching the light at the right moment.
The sight of me in the dress takes my own breath away. I have never worn a dress this nice before. It showcases my tiny form with the little curves I have—small chest and small butt. I look down to see if I really am wearing the dress or if it is some kind of illusion. It’s not. I look back up into the mirror with a smile. I never knew I could be this pretty.
Blood! Lifting the dress up, revealing my clean legs with not a single cut in sight. What? I was just bleeding. What happened?
Music starts to play. White barn style doors open with a slight click, pulling my attention to them. Pushing down the dress and standing up straighter, I forget about my legs, and a smile takes over my face. In one step appears a white table with a bouquet of light pink, almost white, flowers.
My steps halt. Tentatively, I pick up the flowers before beginning to walk again down the aisle. Nothing is in focus, only white around me until I take a step, coming into focus about a foot or so in front of me.
Everything looks perfect. Everything is peaceful and normal. My smile fades, my breathing gets heavier from fear. Why is this part of the assessment so much more peaceful than the other parts? I still can’t see the groom. The things behind me are the only things that are clear. No, this isn’t peaceful, this is terrifying.
My steps stiffen into a shuffle as I look around trying to find answers that are not there.
Wedding, marriage, it’s all too much for me. Starting a family that has a chance of breaking apart. I can’t breathe. I need to turn around. I don’t want to know what is at the end of this aisle.
“Thela, you are almost there.”
My panicky thoughts get caught short. A voice I recognize so well helps slow down my breathing. Closing my eyes to breathe, catch my breath, inhale and exhale slowly. Opening my eyes back up, seeing everything in front of me coming into focus.
The man waiting for me at the end of the aisle. His voice always calms me down—Zac’s voice. He holds out his hand to me with the warm smile I know so well. Taking his hand in mine as my nerves vanishing, replace by a real smile.
It is him, really him. It is the one person who really does care about me and isn’t scared of me, even though everyone else is. It is Zac, the guy who wouldn’t give up on me no matter how hard I tried to push him away.
The fear, the terror all fade away. Our eyes lock and the whole world stops spinning. It is only he and I. Him with the smile that always seems to spark some joy in my life as my problems and fears all die out.
I place my flowers on the little table about a foot away before placing my other hand into Zac’s. I smile up to him, and he smiles proudly at me, his eyes become glossy.
A heavy, short wind catches my ear just right, getting my attention. Turning my head slightly to face the aisle, I feel the fear making its way back into my nerves. The Black Blur appears fully, and a lump forms in my throat. Zac squeezes my hands, and I turn back to him, but his face scares me.
His eyes are darker with hate. His mouth a firm, unnatural straight line. His whole face tenses up, turning into his father’s face, hating the world, but it is still Zac. His eyes and the rest of his face are no longer comforting like normal, but filled with a dark rage.
Everything drains from my body. My blood, my color, and the comfort I had all turn to fear.
“Why did you let me get shot, Thela?” His voice cold. His voice not his own, but still makes me shiver.
“What?” I ask, my voice quivering.
“You heard me,” Zac snarls. “I got shot because of you. You are dangerous and I should have reported you a long time ago.”
“No. No you don’t mean that. This, this-” I stop, tears daring to fall.
I try pulling my hands away, but his grip is too strong. “I waited for you.” Zac squeezes my hands. “And the thanks I get is being shot, locked up like a wild animal, and beaten every day. I should have left you for good a long, long time ago.”
“No. No, no!” Again I try to pull my hands away, but Zac squeezes them harder. Feeling like he is going to snap them in half. “You don’t mean that,” I say, tears rolling down my face as my voice trembles with fear and pain. “This isn’t really you.”
“Oh, it’s me alright,” he says, his voice cold with no life in it at all—not Zac’s voice. “I hate you, Thela Brown. You wasted my life, and you took it away from me.”
Zac rips his hands away from mine, and I hold them close to my chest. He takes a small step back, pulling out a gun from his waistband and pointing it at me.
“Your turn,” is all he says before firing the gun.
I hear the noise after the bullet sinks into my stomach right where Zac got shot. There is no pain, but I feel the warm blood running down my skin. I watch the dress turn black, starting at the bullet wound. Reaching up to my stomach, I feel the warm blood as it coats my hands but not the dress.
Instead of Zac, the Black Blur stares at the wound, watching the dress turn black. It is no threat to me, not right now at least. The Black Blur sticks out its hand, touching the wound. It applies hot pressure before the touch turns to ice. It removes its hand before looking up to me, and I swear it gives me a little smile.
I look down to my stomach and the bullet is gone—like it was never there in the first place. I meet the Black Blur’s eyes with mine again.
“This isn’t real,” I breathe in a whisper. “You’re not real. You are just me as the scared little girl afraid of the whole world. You hold all the bad in my mind, my fears. The fear of having or starting a family, and the big one of being a Neuroner and hurting everyone.”
The Black Blur looks down and transforms into me—me as the little girl of only five years old who is lost in the woods. The only difference is she is covered in scars from head to toe. Her left eye is scarred shut, with the other barely open.
The scars are the pain, all of it. The bad memories, the mental damage, the fears, and just all of the ugly.
She smiles at me with a wave, and I wave back to her with a small smile as well. She fades away like a shadow, and once she is gone completely, I break down into tears. The bright light shines, and everything around me goes white.
🧠
Tears coat my cheeks as I wake up, and I try wiping them away. Lily is instantly there by my side with worry.
“What happened? Are you alright?” she asks with concern.
“Yes,” I say, my voice cracking.
Lily looks to the monitor, and I look over to Zac, wanting him to know I am okay. I give him the smile that says everything will be fine, and his face fills with confusion. Covering my mouth making it look like I am wiping away more tears, but ensuring Zac can see my lips.
Hi, Zac. I mouth the words to him.
His face lights up with a smile, and he is smart not to say anything. His smile brings me joy with the comfort that I so heavily rely on. The guards pushes him out, and he doesn’t fight back at all. He is too busy smiling with his whole face.